Ode to Math Rigor

Oh dearest Math Rigor
you truly do suck
an upcoming exam...
and it's today, OH FUCK!

I wish I understood
your complicated ways
but every time i try
I want to end my days

Your proofs are never ending
all these symbols to confuse
many definitions and theorems
I dont know which to use

So I will spend all my time
in agony, I'm sure,
attempting not to fail
As it all becomes a blur.

Happy Thanksgiving

Things I am thankful for:

my Friends ..cuz they are the most amazing people on this earth
my family... where would I be with out them...
my education... cuz without it I would be nothing
the air I breath, the water I drink, the food I eat, the ground I walk upon...

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! I hope you all can find something you are thankful for!

?

I feel this feeling
This feeling, indescribable
This feeling, unnameable

The only word that can even begin to describe
this feeling inside is...

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Quitting

I found myself uttering the words "I Quit!" over and over.

I quit school
I quit this job
I quit SADD
I quit Schools for Schools
I quit SEC
I quit office hours
I quit staff meetings
I quit math
I quit education
I quit moving
I quit caring
I quit life

and then... I thought...

Quitting is for the weak.

and then... I questioned...

Am I weak?

my answer... No, I am not weak.

But then I asked...

Am I okay?

my answer... No, I am not okay.

my solution... keep on keepin' on.

for I believe I am strong enough to make it through this time of un-0kay-ness and reach a time of ultimate satisfaction.

The Cave... Not just a place, but a way of Life.

I am...?

Who am I?

I have often asked myself this question, and yet, have never quite reached an answer. I know it is the one question that everyone at some time or another during their life asks themselves. I know it is not uncommon to not reach an answer. I know that I am not alone. However, sometimes I can't help but feel alone. I feel like I missed the memo. I feel like everyone is in on this big secret and I am not allowed to know. But I am determined. I am determined to know. I want to know. I need to know. I am not asking for anyone to blab this big secret to me, for that would be asking for someone to go back on their word and destroy the integrity of the secret. But I am determined to discover this secret and all of its power on my own.

And it will be at that moment that I will know who I am.

Just... Friends?

This girl
This boy

That girl
That boy

This girl
No boy

This boy
Wants that

This girl
Wants this

That girl
Wants that

This girl
Very sad

This boy
Kinda glad

That girl
...

That girl ruins this girl's painting while make this boy's painting beautiful.

YOU

Please
I can't get you out of my mind
All I ask is for a moment to my own thoughts

Please
I can't get you out of my heart
All I ask is for a moment to my own feelings

Please
I can't get you out of my soul
All I ask is for a moment to be ME

from Steve

So I was paroosing through my friend Steve's blog and decided to take this "Rate my Life" thing he had taken. I was curious. I kinda wish I hadn't taken it... :-/ see for yourself...

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6.1
Mind:	5.6
Body:	4.5
Spirit:	7.7
Friends/Family:	5
Love:	0
Finance:	7.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

necesito

the need for positive

the need to breathe
the need to live
the need to love
the need to accept
the need to embrace

the need for negative

the need to criticize
the need to want
the need to hurt
the need to reject
the need to ignore

the need to be

the need to be happy
the need to be sad
the need to be angry
the need to be loved
the need to be content


the need to need.

...and at the end of the day, I will try to smile.

The History of Math

I'm
in class
lethargic
melting away
my body is trapped
my feet melt to the floor
my legs attach to the chair
my body hunched over the desk
as it blends to its structural form.
My soul screaming as it tries to get out.

_cry_

wet
cold
salty
drying
falling
failing
wishing
hoping
dreaming
cliche
stupid
grow-up

NOW

Sight

I wish you could see what I see...




and how I see it.

Oh, it's nothing.

I find myself sitting and staring into an open, white space
Nothing to clog the senses
Nothing to force defenses
Just
White
Just
Space
Nothingness and it feels so great; so inspiring; so refreshing
The nothingness courses through my veins

I find myself sitting and staring into a closed, dark room
Can't see what lies ahead
Can't see what surrounds
Just
Dark
Just
Space
Nothingness and it feels so tense; so frightening; so pressuring
The nothingness courses through my soul

I find myself sitting and staring out into the courtyard
I see everything
I see everyone
All
Around
All
Alive
But still a nothingness, but it feels normal.
The nothingness is there, whether empty or full, dark or light

The nothingness is what fuels us.
The nothingness is our muse.
The nothingness is everything.
The nothingness is nothing.